I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They have beer where we have blood.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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