She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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