Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
