Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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