her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
