JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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