hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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