Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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