But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
