well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
