I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
