The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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