i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
