So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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