Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
