i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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