The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
