if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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