i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
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He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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