I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
