Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i dont even know how to be here
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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