I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
