That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
