Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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