Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.