oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.