I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony