Tell her she can't have a vagina
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.