After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
