bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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