he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize