I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
