also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
