fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
