Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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