So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my vagina is haunted
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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