so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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