Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
