my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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