Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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