hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize