She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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