What did we do last night that was yellow?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
