are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
