I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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