People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
