All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
