Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
