He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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