I hate all girls vehemently.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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