Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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