one might say we're banned from that church
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize