I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
