I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
