If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
only you would photoshop your dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
