I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
