She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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