I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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