Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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