I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
