if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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