I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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