drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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