2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
